Grandma May Be Dead, But She Was Right

They say history repeats itself, usually because we’re too stubborn to learn from it the first time. But in today’s case, history is less about collapsing empires and more about collapsing comment sections.

If we’d listened to Grandma, half of the nonsense online wouldn’t exist. Our grandmothers may not have had Wi-Fi, but they knew a thing or two about human nature—and those sayings they repeated over meatloaf still apply in the digital world.

Somehow, in the Internet age, keyboard warriors and TikTok influencers have forgotten the social norms that guide people as they have replaced human interaction with their screens — however, it is still another human behind your little iPhone screen.

So, since you forgot what granny taught you, I’ll give you a quick crash course:

“If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
Translation: Twitter/X wouldn’t be a battlefield if we followed this. Half of political arguments online start because someone thought “snark” was a civic duty and went too far.

“Think before you speak.”
Or in modern terms, think before you tweet. Just because you can post your hot take in real time doesn’t mean the world needs to read it. The dopamine rush you feel from being “first” with your political screed isn’t worth the deterioration of polite society.

“You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”
Grandma’s point still stands: kindness works better than cruelty. On the internet, it means you’ll get an actual conversation instead of a comment war that looks like a middle school food fight.

“Don’t burn your bridges.”
That Facebook fight with your old classmate over politics? Yeah, one day you may need that connection for a job opportunity or a new roof. Screenshots are forever, and so is the evidence of your late-night rant.

“Treat others the way you want to be treated.”
Yes, even the stranger in the Reddit thread who is clearly trying to bait you. This isn’t about trivial debates at all—it’s about the Golden Rule, the one line of Grandma’s wisdom that should stop us cold before we hit “send.” If you want respect, you have to give it first. Grandma and Jesus never said “Earn respect by trolling strangers and ‘owning the libs.'”

“Don’t judge a book by its cover.”
Or by a username or avatar. That faceless account might belong to someone with real influence—or someone closer to you than you realize. Either way, best not to assume. Also, people are three dimensional, even if they don’t act like it all the time. Stop seeing everyone as friend and enemy, good and evil.

“Mind your own business.”
No, you don’t need to comment on that neighbor’s vacation photo to remind them carbon emissions are bad. Sometimes scrolling past is the greatest act of love.

“Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.”
It’s harder to type “snowflake” when you’ve stopped to consider what the other person is actually going through offline.

“Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.”
Every minor typo doesn’t need a 200-comment pile-on. Yes, people who can’t navigate your and you’re are annoying, but when you correct them, you shift all that assholic energy onto yourself. That person is already down in life because of their lack of education and intellect, there’s no need to make a big deal of it and kick them when they’re down.

“A man is known by the company he keeps.”
Full stop. The people you surround yourself with, the people you support, the viewpoints you champion, are a megaphone screaming to the world what is important to you. If you don’t like how you’re being perceived, you may want to do a little pruning of your sources of influence.

“Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
Silence is golden, friends. Just because you can notify everyone in your life all at once about your most recent conspiracy theory doesn’t mean you have to. You can keep thoughts to yourself. You can spend time marinating on those thoughts before you  make them public. Touch grass. Take a walk. Hide your crazy.

“You can’t unring a bell.”
Once it’s out there, it’s out there. Ask every politician who thought they could erase a tweet or unsend that picture they texted at 3 a.m.

“Respect is earned, but manners are free.”
A “please” and “thank you” online won’t kill you. Neither will a civil disagreement.

The truth is, Grandma didn’t need to see TikTok to know how people behave when they forget their manners. She lived long enough to know that people don’t change much—just the platforms they use to bicker. If we’d followed her advice, maybe our newsfeeds wouldn’t look like history repeating itself. Grandma warned us, and the internet proved her right.