The Incredible Shrinking Everything (Except My Rage)

I’ve officially had it. Shrinkflation, that sneaky combo of greed and deceit, has infiltrated every corner of my life. It’s not just the blatant thievery of paying more for less— it’s the insult of being expected not to notice. Well, I noticed. And I’m mad.

Let’s start with restaurants. Remember when a health score of 93 was enough to make you consider never darkening the door of a restaurant? Now? In the post-pandemic world where it takes an act of congress to get a drink refill and nobody can be bothered to clean tables or empty trash cans, a score of 80 gets a shrug.

Collectively everyone appears to just say,. “Oh well, at least no one’s actively vomiting.” Meanwhile, I’m paying twice as much for about 30% less food. And don’t get me started on the bacon. It used to be crispy strips of glory. Now, it’s more fat than meat, curling up into tiny shriveled apologies.

Then there are the trash bags. Oh yes, even the trash bags have betrayed me. Same brand I’ve always bought. Same trash can. But now, the bags have shrunk, leaving me with a choice: let the bag droop sadly into the bin or wrestle it on like I’m trying to stretch a toddler’s sock onto a basketball. I paid more for these bags, by the way. Of course, because nothing says “value” like a garbage bag that can’t even hold garbage.

What’s really shrinking? Our bank accounts. Every product gets smaller, lower quality, and more expensive, all so some CEO can buy another private jet. Meanwhile, they are refusing to hire more employees or pay the ones they have decently. 

I’m sick of being asked to pay more for less. Since when was a “Family Sized” bag of chips able to fit in a vending machine. King sized chocolate bars? Kings must be getting much smaller than they used to be. Even my dentist has started asking for tips. I’m not sure why. Probably because dental floss requires a home loan and references now. And why is my toilet paper suddenly smaller than the width of my hand?

To all the suits sitting in boardrooms trying to think of new ways to bilk their customers and get more money: Can we just go back to selling honest products at honest prices? Or are we doomed to a future where toothpaste comes in single-use packets, cereal is sold by the spoonful, and we have to tip the kiosk before we leave the store?

Call it inflation, shrinkflation, the post-pandemic economy, or whatever you want to, but the truth is it is the same problem that has plagued mankind for ages. Good, old-fashioned, greed.

But I’m not one to just complain endlessly without offering solutions. Remember, in a capitalist economy the people speak with their wallets, so if you are tired of this constant drumbeat of corporate greed, don’t participate. If the health score is low, don’t eat there. If they don’t have enough employees, don’t go there. Buy good quality products that are priced at what the product is worth. The prices climb because the companies can get away with it. If we stop playing the game, the economy has to adjust.

Or maybe CEOs can start using their Texas-sized bonuses to hire someone to explain to them what happens when the customers they’re squeezing can’t afford their own shrinking products. Hint: It’s not another yacht.