I swear, parenting in the school years is just one long series of Sign Up Genius emails.
Every time I open my inbox, there’s another prompt: bring cookies, bring pencils, bring a costume, bring yourself to the classroom at 1:30 on a Wednesday for a themed celebration of something I didn’t know needed celebrating. Somewhere along the way, “going to school” turned into “participating in a never-ending community theater production with rotating costumes and props.”
Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids’ school. They go to public school, which is criminally underfunded, and their teachers are incredible. These women and men pull off miracles daily: teaching fractions, wrangling 25 kids at once, and still managing to make learning fun. If they asked me for the moon, I’d try to get it on Amazon Prime. And the PTO? Tireless. Creative. Determined to make the school high-functioning.
But here’s my reality: I work full time. I can donate money, I can send in snacks, I can buy a pack of glue sticks or contribute toward the class party. But when it comes to showing up in person during the middle of a workday, I struggle. Badly. I can’t just disappear from meetings to staff a craft center or cheer on a themed parade. And I hate that my absence is so visible.
Themed dress-up days are a whole separate beast. Pajama Day is fine. Crazy Sock Day? Sure. But Career Day, Book Character Day, Dress Like a 100-Year-Old for the 100th Day of School? Please send help. These “fun” extras always seem to require a 9 p.m. scramble the night before, with me cobbling together costumes out of duct tape and desperation.
The sign-up sheets don’t bother me as much as the sign-up-to-be-present ones. Because I know the pressure is real: when you’re not there, your kid notices. And for parents without flexible jobs, or for families already stretched thin financially, it isn’t just a missed opportunity — it can feel like being shut out entirely.
Could we pump the brakes? Maybe fewer theme days. Maybe fewer mid-day volunteer slots. Just enough to make things manageable for everyone, especially the parents who would love to be there but physically can’t.
Because here’s the thing: I’ll keep showing up however I can. I’ll bring the markers, the paper plates, the granola bars. Sometimes I overcompensate with my donations to make up for my absence. But I can’t always be the parent who’s there at 2 p.m. for winter centers or the full four hours of field day..
No, my kids won’t remember having the most authentic geriatric costume. They won’t remember who brought in what for winter centers. But they’ll remember that maybe I wasn’t at winter centers or the full four hours of field day. They’ll remember looking around the room, scanning the other parents’ faces for mine, and I’m tied to a desk. Not because I want to be, but because I have to be.
I’ll give until there’s nothing more to give to support my kids, their teachers, and their schools. I just wish it weren’t so glaring when I reach the bottom of the barrel.
Mary Cosgrove
Mary Cosgrove has been a journalist for over 20 years, with experience in print and digital journalism and a BA from Auburn University. She is currently a marketing manager and earned her MBA from Kennesaw State University in 2023. She’s the mother of three incredible children and two mildly pleasant cats.
