Our neighbor, Mrs. Louise, is of a different faith. And a different generation. And a different political party.
Thus (according to partisan news and social media, anyway) Mrs. Louise is an evil enemy, devoid of moral character, who must be defeated at all costs…
And yet…
Despite her “monster” status, Mrs. Louise has always gone out of her way to show us kindness.
In fact, she has shown up for us in ways that many of our “friends” – people with whom we are more likely to share a faith, or generation, or political party – have not.
Algorithms and echo chambers tell me Mrs. Louise is the literal worst. But in person? Mrs. Louise is kinda the best.
So what are we to do about the discrepancy?
Increasingly I am seeing posts, articles, and personal contentions that say, without caveat or nuance: “These are the facts. This is the way it is. If you do not agree, then you are [insert some derogatory term here] and are no longer welcome in this space.”
Increasingly, I am choosing to leave the space.
Increasingly, I am choosing grace.
While it’s true that there are some evil beliefs and people out there (Refute the beliefs. Jail the people.), it’s equally true that most of us AREN’T walking nightmares.
Most of us are just regular people doing the best we can to lead decent lives. Recognizing that we all share this “flawed-but-trying-our-best” boat is really the only thing that can bring us back from the “us vs. them” abyss that we’ve dug with partisan news, social media, algorithms, ignorance, arrogance, and fear.
Historically, bad faith actors benefit from derisiveness. Ancient wisdom? Preaches grace.
The Golden Rule (which is present in the teachings of every major religion and to which atheists also adhere) declares that we should treat others as we wish to be treated.
The Golden Rule doesn’t say we need to AGREE with our neighbor.
It doesn’t ask that we CONDONE when our neighbor does something that we disapprove of or even find morally reprehensible.
But it does ask that we love, respect, and give grace to our neighbor, because we want those things for ourselves.
Mrs. Louise exemplifies The Golden Rule. Despite our many flaws, Mrs. Louise affords us grace. After all, our religion is wrong, we backed the wrong political candidate, and our generation is making all the wrong choices for the future of this country.
But none of that stops her from offering us gifts on our religious holidays, or bringing us flowers and fruit from her yard. She’s never once greeted us with anything other than a smile.
And we respond in kind. We offer her grace. After all, her religion is wrong, she backed the wrong political candidate, and her generation is making all the wrong political choices for the future of this country.
It would be easy for Mrs. Louise to judge us (or us, her). After all, judgement is easy; grace is difficult.
But, when practiced openly, grace makes the world seem just a little more bearable, just a little more beautiful, just a little more worthy of cautious optimism and hope.
For my own sanity and sake, I’m leaving spaces that don’t make space for grace.
If you find yourself viewing everyone who disagrees with you as an enemy and a threat, you might want to consider doing the same.
Others – even when they are wrong – have so much to teach us.
So save space for grace. “Do unto others.” It’s how you’d want to be treated.
Note: This is an opinion article as designated by the the category placement on this website. It is not news coverage. If this disclaimer is funny to you, it isn’t aimed at you — but some of your friends and neighbors honestly have trouble telling the difference.
Erin Greer
Erin Greer is an award-winning journalist whose work has appeared in digital, print, and television mediums across many publications. She served as managing editor for two national publications with focuses on municipal governments. She resides in Columbus.
