Column: Fictional post-election Trump/Welker interview

Post election, Trump will feel like he has total freedom to do whatever he wishes, with no restrictions. Here is a theoretical exchange that will take place between himself and Kristen Welker of “Meet the Press” in late November after the mid-term elections.

Welker- Good morning, Mr. President.

Trump- Just give me real news questions… or I will walk out on you and “call it quits”, as I did in June (https://www.democrats.senate.gov/newsroom/trump-transcripts/transcript-kristen-welker-interviews-donald-trump-for-meet-the-press-on-nbc-6726 ). You are so stupid, but even you must remember that.

Welker- I remember very well, Mr. President. You said that the California primary races were rigged but provided no proof. You said- “All I have to do is look”.

Trump- That is correct you ignorant woman. But you said “that’s not evidence”. Even though it absolutely is- because I said it. And you know I am the smartest person you have ever interviewed.

Welker- In that interview, you also said that – Iran would not be “an endless war” and “the threat is largely over”. Yet here we are at the end of November; you have increased bombing the day after the election. There is no end in sight.

Trump- Are you a Dumocrat? The war will end very quickly. I’m announcing today that we will be invading Iran tomorrow unless the Ayatollah surrenders unconditionally.

Welker- Don’t you need Congressional authorization to launch a war? The House and Senate are now both majority Democrat.

Trump- It is not a war. It is a “military operation” (https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/trump-goes-stunning-riff-not-125000247.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAANafnLfN2izvzFOMCn2oeDgGOBJeF92mGjE60Jxv9QInRT-BmYWjw35eSlyY_8vXtL6QhNne1nNZ4V5WyhY4wFoDyA6CP6slr1hVKM-MJoctvYyJ0cri7Ak2IjYev-3TeIe3-xtPT31XMGK9sO5CCiprZNys_qHtN-ra9HlxmUj0 ). 

Welker- Mr. President, you do not have the authority to do that.

Trump- Secretary Hegseth says that I do and he has the troops back me up.

Welker- The Supreme Court will not go along with your actions, President Trump.

Trump- You obviously don’t understand who appointed 3 Justices. “I put them in” , dummy. “I do like loyalty” and they work for me (https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-supreme-court-nominees-vote-against-too-often_n_6abe6835e4b0e84f837e3930 ). Plus, because I am always right, Thomas and Alito consistently back me. So that’s the majority and that’s called real democracy!

Welker- The day after the election, you began tearing down the Kennedy Center. You have announced the Center will be renamed “the Trump Center”, in smaller letters beneath it- “formerly the Kennedy Center”.

Trump- I won the 2016, 2020 and 2024 elections with an overwhelming majority each time.  So, I’m the one who decides what Washington looks like. “I’m the only one that matters” ( https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/11/03/561797675/im-the-only-one-that-matters-trump-says-of-state-dept-job-vacancies ). 

Welker- The facts are very different, Mr. President. Although you won the Electoral College in 2016, Hillary Clinton received 3 million more popular votes than you. In 2020, you got 7 million fewer popular votes than Biden. You also lost the Electoral College vote- 306 to 232 ( https://www.cfr.org/articles/2020-election-numbers ).

Trump- You really are just a dumb woman. The 2020 election was rigged. If it was not for that RINO traitor, Mike Pence, I would have continued to be President… as is my right. All Americans knew I won. Just look at how thousands of my patriots peacefully protested at the Capitol on January 6 ^th.

Welker- That insurrection was anything but peaceful. There were 140 law officers injured (https://abc11.com/post/trump-pardon-president-preparing-sweeping-pardons-jan-6-defendants-abc-news-sources-say/15819233/ ). And 1580 insurrectionists convicted, although you pardoned them () https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/justice-department/trump-set-pardon-defendants-stormed-capitol-jan-6-2021-rcna187735 . Even Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell said you were, “practically and morally responsible”. But lets’ switch topics to your party’s tremendous defeats in the 2026 Midterm election.

Trump- That election was rigged, just like 2020!

Welker- It was not. Despite questionable redistricting efforts, you lost both the Senate and House. Many losses were in red districts considered “safe.” The new Congress will be seated in January.

Trump- You just made my point. The GOP couldn’t possibly have lost in states like Kansas and Texas. I’m just too popular. Therefore, because the election was rigged, new members will not be permitted to take their seats. The old Congress was just fine; we can stick with it for another two years. 

Welker- You cannot do that under the Constitution.

Trump- I am President; the Constitution is what I say it is. My Supreme Court will support me. Even if they do not, Secretary Hegseth and my troops will. I cannot take your stupidity any longer. I’m calling it quits for this interview.

Note: This is an opinion article as designated by the the category placement on this website. It is not news coverage. If this disclaimer is funny to you, it isn’t aimed at you — but some of your friends and neighbors honestly have trouble telling the difference.