southern wit • universal truth • zero patience for nonsense
Welcome to Georgia, where the tea is sweet and the traffic is questionable.
One columnist has been documenting the chaos for twenty-five years. From a fifth-generation Georgian who’s covered everything from drunk-driving principals to government shutdowns, Principles Are Like Pants proves the South isn’t just a place—it’s a state of mind. And sometimes, that state needs a reality check.
B.T. Clark has spent a quarter-century in journalism watching neighbors behave badly, politicians dodge accountability, and technology turn simple tasks into existential crises. Along the way, he’s learned that most problems could be solved if people would just remember the basics: have some principles, treat others with dignity, and for the love of all that’s holy, use your turn signal.
Inside these pages
- Rants about adults acting like kindergartners…
- Tales from the parenting trenches…
- Political commentary that’ll make both sides equally uncomfortable
- Reflections on loss, infertility, and humor amid heartbreak
- A defense of Southern food and prosecution of high-beam drivers
If you’ve ever…
- Wondered why adults act like children
- Cleaned something unspeakable out of a minivan
- Questioned whether the internet was a mistake
- Believed kindness and accountability shouldn’t be revolutionary

